"I'm writing a new book called '101 Ways to Hit on a Clown'. I figured that since clowns aren't funny and make people feel uncomfortable, I might as well write a book that shows people how to make them feel the same way. Since they have to stay in character and obnoxiously entertain kids, the best way to do that would be to awkwardly hit on them the entire time they try to do this. Here's what I have so far: 'Would you like to see MY squirting flower?', 'You know what they say about big feet.', 'Be careful with that balloon, wouldn't want it to POP.', 'I bet that big red nose really tickles.' and 'Do the rainbow curtains match the carpet?' I just know of one clown in the area to test it out on who sleeps under the 101 freeway in downtown LA at night. I think his name is 'Rapey the Clown' or something. I'll go set him straight."
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